It hit me today, what my beliefs are. I believe there is a God, an omnipresent being, a deity...whatever you want to call him/her. It exists. My problem is doctrine. I take no merit in the bible. It was written by mortal men like you and me...altered and changed throughout time to reflect the beliefs of the powers back in a time much different than ours. Rules that the powers wanted were written into a doctrine, passed on as words of a messiah...to make people have more merit in them. When, in the end...all they are is stories. Not that the bible doeskin have it's place in fine literature as far as a general moral compass (should you need one). But I feel the morals in it are just that, stories...
I don't need a bible to tell me that hurting people is bad, that breaking hearts and sleeping around is generally a crappy and slutty thing to do. I know in my heart and am guided by my intuition what is right and wrong. Some of the things I see people who DO actually believe in the bible and doctrine are so so far out of my scope of moral or right it boggles my mind. Surely simply saying you believe in a doctrine doesn't make you a better person, so neither does NOT believing in it make you a worse person.
This is also the reason I had a problem finding a "deity". As most Gods and Goddesses were created from stories and myths. Of grandiose beings who conquered and comforted, healed and created in a world we can't fathom. Some people can draw from the individual strengths they supposedly hold, but not me. I cant put my faith in storybook characters or ideals. I can only follow what I feel and know to be true in my heart.
So "God" it is.